Animals: Mountain
Bluebird, Scrub Jay, Nuthatch, Mule Deer
Quotes: “That’s
like drinking bad breath”
“A plaque of grasshoppers.”
“I think we’ve zeroed in on heaven.”
SIARPC: Bloody
Hatchett (the comedian not the band)
John got us a late check out time at the delightful Valley Ho
so it was time to take our rest with the people whose voices sound like money, inexhaustibly
charming and rising and falling like a cymbal song. I went to the fitness
center and watched, “My Cousin Vinny” while coming to a decision. I was going
to get a fancy-pants-less massage. That’s what credit cards are for and besides
they were running a mid-week deal. I ran down and got in the pool for a few
minutes because it looked like a mirage and found John, Lisa, and Rene’ already
floating. I think all pools should be salt water. They’re delightful. After
three weeks of sitting in a van, interspersed with lots of jumping up and down and carrying stuff,
the massage was divine. I tell you what, I’m not really capable of doing the
things that create fiscal wealth, nor do I have a particularly strong desire
for stuff, but there appear to be some advantages to being rich. Besides the
obvious advantage of having all worrisome moles monitored and air conditioning
in ones car, their water tastes either like lemons or cucumbers, their robes
are so heavy they feel like a compression vest, and day drinking is elevated to
an eternal cocktail hour of the soul.
Regardless, I felt as relaxed as I had on the entire tour,
excepting of course the warm and fuzzies following the taking of the waters
outside of Butte.
No show tonight. We just have to be in Denver by tomorrow,
and it just so happens the Grand Canyon is on the way. Of course in this part
of the country “on the way” takes on a completely different meaning. We didn’t
even make it to the actual park until about a half hour before sunset. The
upside is that the canyon looked as if it was lit from within, the reds and
oranges becoming indistinguishable from the rocks. We were on the south rim and
I can’t remember what the north rim looked like from my youth, but it’s hard to
imagine it can surpass the views here. Of course there were a lot of people
there, but just as in San Francisco the English language was only one small
part of the canyon’s polyglot. At first all the voices seemed jarring in such a
place and I actually gave a thought to what it means if the Grand Canyon is
incapable of moving you. Then I went to a little spot off the path and sat
until the stillness of the place slowed down my heart enough to hear it. I walked
along the edge until I got to a spot where I found Lisa and Rene’ and we
stopped to watch the sun set. By the
time we got back to everyone else the stillness had grown until it became like
a physical thing that nothing could disrupt or destroy. Kind of like Wonder Woman’s
plane. You know, technically invisible but kind of shimmery so you know it’s
there. Chuck had been ready to go for an hour and we all began to realize that
we had once again given ourselves a difficult black as late night drive. This
time however we were a long ways from anywhere. We decided to make it to
Albuquerque so we wouldn’t have to deal with the mountains at night. It was a
long slow drive. We crossed into New Mexico and around Gallup were assaulted by
a smell that was horrifying. Not a livestock smell, which is also punishing,
but more of a gassy smell. Shortly after that faded we stopped at a gas station
where I immediately noticed mostly mashed desert-brown grasshoppers littering
the ground. Oh but then I looked up. They were everywhere. Flying around like
their little hive mind had just gotten to the word “apocalypse” in the dictionary. The
store had these 4-foot rag dolls that Chuck scared the shit out of Lisa by
having one jump out at her from around a corner. John walked around announcing
in a mechanical voice, “Driver 47 shower three is now available,” even though
there were no showers. Lisa noticed that the audiobooks bore the slogan, “Like
Movies for Your Mind!” which means I think that there is no hope for humanity.
We didn’t get in to Albuquerque until 5 in the morning
because we lost an hour coming back into Mountain Time. Chuck walked into the
room, dropped his bags and said, “There’s no way I’m sleeping here. It’s too
damn small. I’m sleeping in the van.” Then left. We all settled into a twitchy
silence when the fucking room starts vibrating like a giant had inserted a
quarter into the roof of this janky hotel to start the world’s biggest 1,000
fingers machine. We all just started laughing because what else can you do? And
it continued to happen periodically throughout the night. Turns out our room
backed right up against the laundry room and our wall was next to the hotels
huge laundry machine.
Tomorrow is Denver.
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